You took my soul away
by X5898
Summary: What did Zack have to say when he found out the truth about Adam? Complete.
1. Default Chapter

Title: "You took my soul away"  
  
Summary: What did Zack have to say when he found out the truth about Adam  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel. If I did, there would be a Third Season, which will show Zack and Alec Fighting over me. If Max wants Logan so much, let her have him. I'll take the other two.  
  
A/N: If there are any problems with my vocabulary, blame my English teachers. It's not my first language.  
  
CHAPTER 1  
  
Hi! My name is Adam.... No, not really. My name is Zack. You see, I'm a genetically engineered soldier. I'm an X5. An X5 that broke the rules and fell in love. But the problem was that she didn't love me back. And like everything else in my life, not even that could be simple or normal. I didn't get my heart broken, I lost it. Literally. And not only my heart. I lost my life and memory in the process. I lost myself.  
  
And that's the reason I'm here in Seattle again. I want myself back, and it's about time to do it. But first, there are some things I have to get straight.  
  
And with that last thought he slide trough the crowd and got into the guarded Terminal City without detection. Not from the National Guard, not from the X6s guarding the gates from inside. He was the best after all. The student that had defeated the teacher in their own game. The CO that had challenged Manticore and won. He had taken his siblings out of that place and kept them there for ten years.  
  
Now that he was inside TC, there was a sibling in particular he needed to find. There were some things that needed to be said. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel. A/N: Thank you all for your reviews. I loved them. This chapter is for you.  
  
Bo: I love Zack. He was my favorite character in season one. I cried for two weeks straight after And Jesus. and I was really pissed at Max for what she did in SAR. I mean, he died for her and she just sends him away?. Anyway, thank you very much for your review. It lighten up my day.  
  
Black Rose: It's not really a romantic fic, more angst than anything. I don't think it will turn M/Z, he is too pissed right now. But I take suggestions. Ting: I hope you like this chapter. The real action is coming in chapter 3. I already have some ideas, so the update won't take long. Rose: I'll make a deal with you. We kidnap Zack and Alec, one for you and one for me. What do you say?  
  
Chapter 2  
  
"No!". She woke up startled by her dream. Nightmare is more like it. It was strange, she couldn't remember what it had been about, why it had left her with that feeling of uneasy.  
  
She was still trying to remember when she felt a presence in the room with her. She immediately changed into soldier mode. At least for the five seconds it took her to recognize those beautiful blue eyes that she thought she will never see again. A mixture of feelings were fighting to gain control of her. Relief, happiness, fear, regret. But in the end there was only shock.  
  
She stayed there, just staring at him for what seemed like a lifetime. She couldn't believe he was back, she couldn't believe it was him standing there in front of her. But those were his eyes, no doubt about it. Except there was something off about them.  
  
"Zack?", she asked finally with a whisper. Begging for it not being a dream. And if it was, that it could last forever. But there was no answer. "Zack?", she tried again. Now a little more concerned. She didn't know how much he had remembered or even what. His eyes were unreadable. It frightened her in a way. Was it really Zack or was it Manticore again?.  
  
"Max" he finally acknowledge. "Long time no see". But his voice was full of sarcasm. Could it be?. Zack being sarcastic?. No, it was probably just her imagination. She jumped off the bed and hugged him. "Zack!. I was so worried, I'm glad you're ok. I missed you so much. Tears started pouring out of her eyes. But he did not hugged her back. Instead he started laughing. Not a happy laugh, more like a crazy laugh. She stepped away from him and stared into his eyes. Was that pain and hurt?. And then they were cold again. Colder than she'd ever seen them.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------- A/N: I'm mean, aren't I. Don't worry, chapter 3 is coming soon. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel.  
  
A/N: Rose: I hope the chapter lives up to your expectations. I surely enjoyed writing it. Bo: This chapter is a bit longer. Originally it was meant to be split into two, but you've all been so nice to me that I'm posting it as one. Consider it a gift for all of you. Black Rose: Here is more angst for you. In answer to your question, Max was awake. The hug was real. Feenian and La-angele 321: Welcome to the story and I hope you like it. Natty: It's not fair. I want Zack too. He has this `It's my duty, I'm strong and I can face anything to protect my siblings` thing going on that I find SOOO sexy. He's tough and a bad boy when he needs to be and so cute when he sacrifices for Max. Even though she's completely unimpressed by it (let's not go there). But Alec with his `I'm the best` philosophy and those lovely smiles of him (drooling here!). I don't think I can choose between them. Plus, Rose wants one too. So we are faced with a little problem. Three of us and only two of them. What shall we do?  
  
To all of you, thank you for reviewing.  
  
CHAPTER 3  
  
"You missed me? I'm confused. Who did you miss, Zack or Adam?"  
  
"Uh?"  
  
"Oh, yeah sorry I forgot. Adam doesn't exist and you would never miss Zack, you hate him enough. So who did you miss Max?"  
  
"What are you talking about? I love you, of course I missed you. You're my big brother." She couldn't understand what he was saying.  
  
"Then why did you do that to me? Why did you kill me?"  
  
"You were going to kill Logan, it was Manticore not you. I couldn't let you do it. I couldn't let them win. You wouldn't want me to let them win. And the electric shock didn't kill you, you're alive Zack." She was crying desperately now, screaming, willing him to understand. Fortunately, there was no one in this part of TC, at least not close enough to hear them. She felt strange crying like this in front of him. I mean, she felt like crying, but at the same time she felt she shouldn't. Soldiers don't cry. ´I'm not a soldier anymore`. But still she felt she should behave like one right now. Why?. It was as if her big brother wasn't there. All she could see was her CO, and she had failed him.  
  
After a moment he spoke, and his voice was icy cold. "You didn't know the electric shock wouldn't kill me. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you sending me away. Away from my life, away from my siblings, away from everything. I'm talking about you making me disappear."  
  
"Zack I..". She didn't know what to say. And his stare wasn't helping either. He was there, mere inches from her, but he seemed so far away. There was no closeness between them anymore. There was no big brother/ little sister anymore. What had she done? Where was Zack? What was going on inside his head?.  
  
She tried to explain, tried to reach him. "Zack. I didn't know what else to do. I thought sending you away would be the best thing. They wouldn't be able to find you or use you again. This way you could be safe, happy, you'd have a normal life."  
  
"A normal life?!". Now his eyes were on fire. The coldness was gone from his voice. Now there was anger. Now he was really pissed. She just didn't understand.  
  
It was dark in the early hours of the morning. Most of TC was asleep, there was silence in Freak Nation. But in one dark room there was no silence, there was no calm, there was no sleep.  
  
"A normal life?" She just didn't understand. Zack couldn't believe it. She didn't send him away because she hated him, she send him away because she didn't understand him. A tear came running down his cheek, but he quickly stopped any others from following it. Soldiers don't cry. And he was a soldier. No matter how much Max tried to deny it, it was a part of them.  
  
"Max, who told you I wanted a normal life?. That's your thing. I wanted my siblings. I wanted to protect them, they are my responsibility. They are the reason I exist. You took that away from me. I am not Adam, I'm not a farm boy. I am Zack, I am X5 599, I am a soldier. It's who I am. When you took that away, you took everything. I couldn't be happy, how could I?. There was nothing left. Only a void, only emptiness. I didn't remember you guys, but I felt you. I felt you and I couldn't do anything about it. You took away my memory and my siblings. With that you took away my purpose, you took away my soul."  
  
There was silence for a minute. All they could hear were each others breaths. Max didn't know what to say to that. It was still sinking in. She never thought about the consequences of her actions. She never thought he could feel that way. She was brought back from her thoughts when Zack spoke again. He had moved to the window and was facing away from her. His voice was merely a whisper.  
  
"You are right, you didn't kill me. What you did was much worse, cause I was alive. I could feel there was something missing. And that something was me."  
  
TBC 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel.  
  
A/N: I know is a short chapter, but it was necessary for the development of the story. The next one is longer, and also the last chapter. Now, enjoy.  
  
Rose: I love your reviews You are so nice to me. About that story of yours, post it. I'd love to read it and review it.  
  
Black Rose: Enjoy Zack´s speech. I LOVED writing it, she had that coming. I was so pissed with her in SAR.  
  
Bo: He got his memory back because transgenics have been all over the news since the events on Jam Pony. It just took a while for him to get everything back. The story takes place six months into the siege. Sorry I forgot to tell you sooner. Maybe I can address his reunion with his siblings in a sequel. Don't know, wasn't planning on a sequel. But what do you think? It could be interesting.  
  
Pru: Here is more Zack for you.  
  
Gabriela: Welcome and thanks for reviewing.  
  
CHAPTER 4  
  
Max wasn't crying anymore. She felt numb, like she was in a bad dream and couldn't wake up. Several minutes passed. None of them speaking or moving. Just silence. Finally Max found her voice and spoke quietly but with strength. The strength of a person that knows she made the right decision. Or the strength of a person that is too stubborn to realize her mistake. "But you were trying to kill Logan, I had to do something!"  
  
He turn around and was on her face in a blur. His eyes in flames, his voice loud. "Logan of course. It always comes back to Logan. Don't worry, I won't try to kill him. I remembered everything. Manticore drilling their ideas into me to make me do their job. I would have remembered sooner if you had taken the time to help me. But of course you couldn't. When it comes to Logan, you don't think straight. You would kill me for him, you nearly did. And you don't dare deny it. I could see it in your eyes then and I can still see it now. You didn't send me away so I could be happy. You send me away so I wouldn't jeopardize your fantasy, your normal life. It was never about me. Admit it, it was about you. It's always about you."  
  
Now Max was pissed. Not really, but being angry was far better that the pain this conversation was sending trough her veins. So she let the anger out, put the barrier on. "So what would you've preferred me do? Let you stay here killing people because I couldn't love you the way you wanted? Because I felt you were my brother and not my lover?". The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. And man did she wanted to stop them. She regretted those words the moment they left her mouth. But still she couldn't stop. It was as if her mouth had a life of its own. The truth was, deep inside she didn't want to stop talking because she knew the moment she let him speak again, he would hurt her even more. And he would be right in every word. So she spoke again, knowing it was a cheap shot. "Consider it my moment of weakness".  
  
A/N: I know Max sounded like a bitch, but she was only trying to protect herself. We know she shows that part of her personality sometimes. She's always a bitch around Alec, isn't she?. And the last sentence, she used it on Zack before. But don't worry, everything is coming together in the last chapter. Just bare with me. 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel.  
  
A/N: Thank you all for your support, here is the last chapter. Enjoy!. Special thanks to Rose, Bo and Black Rose. You girls are the best. Rose, I hope you post your story. I'd love to read it. Bo wants to read it too. So here we are begging to you. I want to get to know Lane.  
  
I want to let you know that a sequel is coming. You've asked me for one and I think I owe it to you and Zack. This was definitely too short. So I'll be posting one soon. I don't know when yet, but is coming. It's called "Cat" and it shows the reunion between Zack and one of his sisters. I have another idea to make it a trilogy, but lets not get that carried away.  
  
CHAPTER 5  
  
Zack was taken aback by her words. But he didn't let her see the pain she'd caused him. The mask was on in a second and coldness came back to his features. His voice was steady and at normal volume when he spoke again.  
  
"You are right. I set up the rules and I didn't follow them myself. I let my actions be guided by phony sentimentality and I shouldn't. I put everyone in danger. First, when I let myself be caught to keep you out of jail. Tinga died because of it, because of me. Then, when I shoot myself I left my brothers and sisters with no protection. I did all that because I loved you more than a sister. I let my emotions cloud my judgment and people got hurt because of it. You did right sending me away, I was a liability in my condition. But don't worry, I've learnt from my mistakes. There will be no more moments of weakness on my part. I'm back. I'll keep myself strong for my mission, to protect the X5´s."  
  
He stopped talking and headed for the door, but Max's hand on his arm stopped him. She looked him in the eyes and smiled a caring smile while a single tear slipped down her cheek.  
  
"I didn't mean what I said. You've done a great job as our leader. None of the things that happened was your fault. Manticore is the one to blame. You took us out of that place. You've protected us since forever. You don't have to be strong, you don't have to sacrifice your life or your happiness for us. We owe you a lot and we will always need you. But we also love you and we want you to be happy, we need to see you happy. That's why I send you away. I wasn't thinking just about Logan, I was thinking about you."  
  
He smiled back at her and reached for her cheek with one hand. "Max, little sis. You still don't get it. I can't be happy with a normal life. Of course I sometimes think of how wonderful it could be to just let go of everything and find someone who loves me. But I can't just let go, this past year taught me that. With all the bad, Manticore gave me two incredible things too. It gave me a family and a purpose in life. That purpose keeps me strong, it keeps me going. I think that is my thing. Manticore made you hate guns, it made me need a mission to exist."  
  
Max was speechless. She was finally understanding her brother. He was opening up to her. She was finally feeling that closeness that had been missing between them since the escape. She had her brother back. Every awful thing that had happened in the last two years and a half had been necessary and totally worth it for this moment. The problem: Would he forgive her?. Would he want HER back?  
  
Well, she had to do something. So she just let go and started begging. "Zack. I'm sorry. I hurt you and I'm SO sorry. You know I never meant to send you away, I just didn't know what else to do. Don't hate me, please. I need you. Now more than ever. I know I let you down, I know I failed you. But now that you are back, I just can't let you slip away from my life again. Please Zack. I just can't see the disappointment in your eyes again.".  
  
She was stopped by him speaking. "Shh, you don't have to say anything Maxie. I forgive you." How could he not?. "We are alright now". His kid sister needed him. "I have to check in with the others. Tell them I'm back, that I'm alive. But don't worry, I'll check up on you pretty soon. Its quite a problem you have going on here with the National Guard. I won't abandon you. I never will. Goodbye baby sister". He smiled and disappeared into the night.  
  
"Goodbye big brother" she said, knowing he could still hear her with his perfect hearing. She was feeling great, happier than she'd been in a while. It hadn't felt like a goodbye, he would be back soon. Now she could lead a city full of transgenics. His big brother was protecting her. Zack had her back.  
  
THE END  
  
--------------------------------------------------------- A/N- I know, I know. The chapter sucks. I had so many ideas, but this is the best I could do. Please review now that the story is finished and tell me what you think about it. I need some insight for future stories. Also, tell me what you think about the sequel. Thanks again and see you soon. A/N2- I'm buying season 1 on DVD girls, so I'll be having Zackie all to myself. LOL. 


End file.
